Adventure
by Twilight Antediluvian
Summary: One-shot. HitsuKarin-ish, but not strongly. If Death isn't scary or sad, it becomes rather interesting. There's a whole new world on the other side, after all, and someone will be there to pick you up.


_**Adventure**_

For the record, my name is Kurosaki Karin and I've never exactly lived a normal life. I'm twenty-three years old and last year I managed to catch a terminal disease on top of all the other things happening. With Dad being one of the best doctors in the country, I could have gotten top-notch treatment, but when I asked him about my chances if I took it he just looked sad and turned away. That's when I decided that death sounded like a plan. Most people would consider that giving up, but for me it's just a new adventure. Rather die in peace than be subjected to pointless torture.

I've never seen this "Soul Society" place, but Ichigo told me a lot about it once I managed to get it through his thick skull that I already knew all about him being a Shinigami. Walking in on him and Rukia might have earned me some leverage in the matter. They'll make a perfect couple, but I _really_ don't need to see my brother kissing anyone more anytime soon. Like for a decade or three to come.

I have my own secret, but it's not one he needs to know about. Or, well, he will know soon enough. I'd like to spend my last time alive with the people I won't be able to see after I die; Yuzu still can't see ghosts and while I suspect that Dad might be able to, he never acts like he can. There are two others I'd like to be around when I pass to the other side. I don't see why it should be a big deal, since they'll be able to see me just as well when I go, but Ichi-nii still seems kind of upset about it and… oh yeah, maybe I should…

"Yuzu…" She has been at my side day and night for the last two weeks. It was such a pain, getting weaker. I still fought it for longer than they told me I would; I suppose it paid off to be too stubborn to give up soccer. It's really only been the last month I haven't been able to play.

"Yes?" The strain on her has been too much, she sounds awfully tired. It hurts to know that I'm the one bringing her so much pain, but my twin sister is stronger than she seems; she'll pull through.

"Tell Ichi-nii that I need to ask him a favour." I just about managed to finish the sentence before I started coughing again. That's been a new development these last two days. First, it was just the regular kind, but now I'm coughing up blood. It hurts a bit, but I honestly think it hurts Yuzu more than me. She's so graceful when she nods and walks out the door to find our brother. He's hanging about the house, but I think he gets frustrated by the fact that he can't do anything about my condition so he only comes to visit a few times a day. He's never far away if I should need him, though; none of them are. My family. It's a bit sad to leave them.

For a moment, the pain gets troublesome and I have to close my eyes. When I got the diagnosis, I decided that school wouldn't do me much good anymore. After all, if I'm going to be a real Shinigami, what good are college math and biology classes and all that stuff going to do me? I started training martial arts instead. So maybe I won't be _good_ when I get there, but at least I'll have tried it out some.

"Karin," her voice sounds weak from stress and worry, "please. I always worry that you won't open your eyes again." I force myself to open them and look into the bright light that's making my head hurt. Then I turn to her and smile a little. It costs me, but Yuzu is worth it. Ichigo is by her side, a hand resting protectively on her shoulder. He looks worn, too. The way he's staring blankly at the wall like that doesn't exactly help either. He should know better than to worry.

"Ichi-nii." At least he can look at me when I'm talking to him, now. It took him days to get over the shock when I told him. "Could you go ask Toushiro to come, I'd like him to be here." I don't think he expected such a request. Shiro-kun and me are really good friends, but I've never actually come around to telling Ichi-nii that. From the look on his face, neither has Toushiro.

"Toushiro?" 'Dumbstruck' is a good word; it describes my idiot brother very well right now.

"Yeah, Toushiro. You know, little guy, white hair, likes to smack around bad guys?" I started coughing again, but I haven't had _that_ much fun over someone in days. Everybody seems to think it's the end of the world. It takes me a moment to get over these attacks, but when I can speak again, Ichigo is still looking at me like I've grown whiskers and a tail or something. "Hey, Ichi-nii, snap out of it! Go fetch!" I'm not entirely sure how much longer I've got. Toushiro doesn't know that I'm dying; I've been keeping away from him the last month, when it became impossible to hide. He probably thinks I'm abroad someplace. "Force him to come through the front door if you have to, I don't need a heart attack on top of everything else if that blasted punk should come jumping in through my window."

"Ah? Okay. I'll be right back, don't go anywhere." He rushes out through the door and Yuzu looks after him like he's going away forever, too. I manage a small smile; she's much too good at worrying, my sweet sister.

"Yuzu, can I tell you a story?" It only takes a few moments before she's sitting by my bedside. I've never been the kind to do such things, but she doesn't question it, just sits there waiting for me to say something. I know I'll be coughing my way through this, but I need to tell her about it, she needs to know I'll be fine.

"_On the other side of life, there's this place called Soul Society. At the centre of that world a shining white building called the Shrine of Penitence reaches for the sky. The streets around it criss-cross in a complicated weave to make up a beautiful area called the Court of Pure Souls. _

_In the streets people in dark clothes meet.__ In a place like this live the people who protect us from bad stuff; evil spirits and all that. Now and then, they come to our world, some to fight and some to send departed souls on to the afterlife, to Soul Society. They call themselves "Shinigami", Death Gods. Regular people can't see them, just like most can't see ghosts. _

_By the barracks of the Tenth Court Guard Division of Shinigami there's a little garden. It's surrounded by trees and __there are many little paths in there. The flowers in spring smell really sweet. _

_If you just walk the paths, you can have a bit of chill even on hot summer days__; the Shinigami of Tenth like being there for that reason, but if you go off the beaten track and into the woodland itself, there's a secret grove with a little pond. The pond is full of koi fish, swimming just below that glittering surface. The water is clear and the air is fresh and everywhere around the glade there are flowers. They're all wild flowers of course, growing in the grass like they're trying to become something more than what they are. _

_If you sit by that pond, looking at those flowers, it's almost like you can see the faces of the people who matter, just by thinking of them, that's how that place is__._"

"You forgot the _suiren_ in the pond," he said from the doorway. I had waited so long. It had been so hard not to tell him, but I didn't want him to see me growing weaker. I do care for him more than just a friend, but I've been prepared to wait. Maybe now I won't have to wait so much longer.

"Water lilies," I breathe, trying not to cough again. My throat is dry from talking so much.

"They're pretty. Matsumoto says they mean 'far from the one he loves', but she's a bit strange. I've always thought you'd like them, though." Finally, I can look up. He looks worried, underneath that stony demeanour he's got, I can see that there are questions he wants to ask, but they wouldn't make any difference, so he keeps quiet and I watch him. I know I can't last much longer, but how long is that? I've said so many goodbyes to Yuzu and Dad that it's pretty sad, really. I don't like drawn-out goodbyes, but mine were all kind of bound to be.

"I wasn't sure you'd be able to get away, Toushiro." He just shrugs. I suppose I had been hoping all along that whatever he was doing, he'd drop it when Ichi-nii told him. That's stupid, but I'm just human and his opinion means a lot to me. More than a friend's opinion usually does. We're not lovers; we can never be sure when we'll be able to meet or how much time we'll have together. Instead, it's something deeper than that, it's like he's almost a part of my very soul. Not having him here when I die would be strange. I may not be _afraid_ of death or what happens afterwards, but it's still a big change.

It's spring outside the window and the cherry blossom weather will be starting any day now. I won't see it in this world, but maybe I can see it in Soul Society for the first time this year. There are birds in the air, but in my room it's completely silent. Who has something to say to the dying girl? Doesn't everything seem a bit more trivial in a situation like this? It's so stuffy in this tiny room.

"Shiro-kun, would you take me to the park?" He raises a quizzical eyebrow, but then he just nods. Ichi-nii and Yuzu aren't so easily convinced.

"You should stay in bed, Karin-chan! You could get worse." Yuzu really is _too_ worried about me. I look at her and try to convey my most disbelieving stare. I manage, apparently, because she blushes a little. She knows very well there isn't much 'worse' for me right now.

"It's no good," Ichi-nii agrees with her, obviously not getting the point. The frown on his face almost disappeared over the years when he realised that Rukia and he were pretty much meant to be, but now it's back, as deep as it ever was. "You shouldn't get out of bed." I manage a pretty good glare at him for that.

"I'm the one dying here, if I want to go to the park, that's bloody well where I'll go!" Of course, I shouldn't get too agitated. It makes me cough and a few drops of blood shoot past the napkin and land on the covers. Damn. Toushiro has been looking grumpy ever since I called him Shiro. For some reason he thinks it's annoying. I forget that sometimes, especially now when so many other things are going on. Now he's got that hint of worry back in his eyes. Stupid cough. Still, he ignores my siblings' protests and shoves the covers to the side, picking me up like a leaf. I've lost some pounds with this stupid illness, but I'm sure he would have done it with the same ease if I'd weighed like an elephant. Ichi-nii stands in the doorway, looking uncertain about this whole thing, naturally blocking the way.

"Move, Kurosaki." Toushiro's always _so_ eloquent. Well, if he can't do it properly, I've had lots of time learning how to handle my big brother.

"If I can choose between going away in this dusty old room that smells of fourteen days of forced bedrest or in the park, I'm pretty sure what I prefer. You can always put me back in here afterwards if you have to, but now _I want to go out_." He moved. He even had the sense to look a bit ashamed. Toushiro didn't say anything either way, he just carried me out. I wanted to walk myself, but I'm realistic enough to know that if I couldn't keep steady on my feet two weeks ago, it probably won't be better today.

"Can we come along, Karin-chan?" It's just like Yuzu to be that careful. I nod a bit, before turning my head back to Toushiro; can't have him getting the wrong idea.

"This is just a one-time thing. If, once this is over, you ever mention carrying me around like I'm some sort of damsel in distress, I _will_ fry your paperwork and have Rukia draw those terrible Chappy all over your haori." I think his mouth twitched upward a bit there. He doesn't gossip, so there's really no risk I'll have to try and go through with my threat. Just wanted him to know that I'm allowing this under protest, y'see?

"Why didn't you tell me?" Ah, so he was in _that_ kind of mood. Lovely, grumpy li'l Toushiro.

"Because I already have too many people making a fuss about it. I'm going to Soul Society, it's not like I don't know what happens in the end." He looks down at me and our eyes meet. I'm determined and I want him to know it. I'm not scared of death, it's not like there's anything to _be_ scared of, to me. I'll still be able to see Ichigo, at least. I haven't seen all that much of Yuzu the last few years anyway. I moved out, she stayed in that house; it's not more complicated than that.

"So because you feel like you know what happens after you die, you're not afraid of it? You don't seem to be doing too well, right now."

"True, true. Still, it's nothing too bad. It gets a bit much sometimes, but Yuzu's acting like I'm made of glass." I have to stop and breathe while he walks on carefully, practically floating over the ground. "Soul Society… I've been curious for ages and now I'm finally going to see it." He actually smiles a bit, then, as he carries me under the budding leaves into the park, sheltering me from the still chilly wind. I like the wind, it's like it always has something to say, but it keeps those secrets to itself. Watching the clouds flutter like they're trying to decipher the whispers in the air, turning into first this, then that in hopes of better understanding the world around them. Today, the clouds are being unusually wild, as if the message on the wind is too scattered to be clear even to them.

He puts me down under a tree with a good view of the park and the sky. I like the way he acts, he does these little things that show how much he cares, even without him saying a single word. So I spend these hours here, knowing it might well be the last time in a while that I can see my sister, or even Ichigo. She cries. I'm the one on the good end of the deal, after all. She'll be alone with stupid Dad. I know he's around here somewhere; he likes to make people think that he's useless, but he did a few too many things _right_ to be quite as moronic as he seems. He isn't even hiding very well, but when I blow him a kiss he disappears as if he was never there. Stupid dad, indeed, but I've got my family around me, at least.

Yuzu, crying on my shoulder. Ichi-nii, trying not to pace around like a caged beast. Toushiro, standing there looking to all the world like he doesn't care what happens to me, but I can see the tension in his pose. Hmph, so I suppose it's up to _me_ to be the strong one, but I'm failing too. It's getting harder to breathe.

"Sis," I whisper. She needs me the most right now, my last words have to be for her. "Don't be such a crybaby. I'll keep an eye on you, you know." I almost start crying myself, the way she goes on; because she's trying so hard to be brave, but this is too much.

"I don't want you to leave me, Karin-chan." Sniffling, _great_. I don't have time for her to be unrealistic. My heart is slowing down, my chest is heavy and it'd be so nice to just shut my eyes right about now.

"Nothing to do about that," I say with my last shred of strength, "I'm going now, but I'll be around. Ichi-nii can see ghosts, remember?" She nods weakly. Good. Getting out into the sunshine was nice, but frankly it's eating up my time to sit here. "Be well, sis."_ I know I'll be_. She just hugs me wordlessly. There's really nothing more to say that hasn't been said way too many times already and 'goodbye' would be pretty pointless.

"Ready to go?" I never took Toushiro for the kind to ask such useless questions.

"Of course, you idiot," I cough, and he smiles at the spunk in that. I'd hit him if I had any strength left, but I'm saving my energy for the next level so to speak. "Yeah," I say, a bit less aggressive, "I'm ready." It's not as if anything would wait for me if I weren't. It's getting harder and harder to stay awake, to keep more than one thought in my mind at a time.

He kneels by my side, taking my free hand; the one that isn't stuck in Yuzu's cramped grip. I feel myself blinking fruitlessly a couple of times, almost as if I'm someone else. Then I close my eyes and just moments later, relief washes over me like a tidal wave. I'd almost forgotten what it's like to live free from pain. I hang on to Toushiro's hand as he helps me up, but there's something strange hanging from my chest.

"The Chain of Fate," Ichigo whispers hoarsely. It's broken pretty far from my chest, close to the place where my body lies. Pretty strange, really, looking at yourself through your ghost's eyes. Yuzu looks pathetic, though.

"Take care of her, Ichi-nii. I have to go." He nods, prying away my twin from the empty shell of a body. She's clinging to him. I've heard that human bodies, being inhabited by souls, have dense spirit mass. _Maybe_… I let go of Toushiro's hand and walk up to my lost siblings. It's sad to see them this frightened. It's not as if anyone could have done anything, but Ichi is so used to saving the world that it must feel pretty lousy that he couldn't save his own sister. I can sympathize with that.

I touch Yuzu's shoulder, wrapping one unreal arm around her and drawing circles on her back with the other. It's a game we played when we were little and she recognises it instantly. She needs a moment to recover from the shock, of course, but once I finally stop she just bows her head and no more tears are falling from my crybaby sister's face.

"Goodbye Karin-chan." Then she walks away, dragging Ichi-nii along behind her despite his protests. I turn to Toushiro and it feels good to finally be able to breathe freely again.

"Time to go, wouldn't you say? The next great adventure and all that." He nods silently and unsheathes Hyorinmaru. It's a brilliant zanpaktou. I hope I'll be worthy of something with even a fraction of its shine. He pauses as he raises the hilt.

"Go to the edge of Seireitei. Find Jidanbou. I'll be waiting."

I feel the cold-hot mark on my forehead, I've been so curious about konso; actually living through it is so cool. Jidanbou. I wonder who that is? I'll find out, in time. I'm engulfed in light and the dragon breathes gently into my ear. I grow wings; or was that shrink? I take to the skies and the dimension between the worlds. I feel the rough ground beneath my feet, knowing that I'm not in the park anymore.

_Go to Seireitei. Find Jidanbou_.

This is where the _real_ adventure starts.


End file.
